me:I'm glad you asked, i have a whole plan. ok if i live by him i dont have to act like a crazy insane fan, cause ill see him all the time. & one day when hes outside i be "casually walking" & trip, fall & bust my head open. he'll come running to ask if im ok, thats when i use my acting skills and tell him, "no i think i need an ambulance" then he calls them, and that'll make us friends instantly. then he'll introduce me to the rest of the boys & i'll ask them if they want to go on vacation in Madagascar, where its coincidentally legal to marry 5 boys.. then BOOM, my life is made, I could finally live in peace.
my mom:i didn't raise you to be like this you know
